kate w has got the rhymez like whoa

google voice transcription is delightfully confused:

Keep me easy, let me please me. Please. Moving feed me when there’s nothing left. 8 3 3 because nothing increase Chinese and B. T. So you must send me the appointees with expertise task in to see if Mike, I can guarantee and small. The previous process cheese. 3 me the franchisees overseas to our full time, and that’s all these retiree. Which, phD’s often a me to the Florida Keys. The that I’m a pre the nominee, with mild to moderate 3 days and when they left. Abdul Aziz infant. C. And the honoring Alex contract, that our fashion. Fenley employees. Not, Tennessee, and testing the appreciate. Thanks Katie. Remember to write a letter to Jean Louis, line the envelope with potpourri. Pharmacy, those at. Tuftees both. It may be safe. Absentees another defense heat, protect me and never wear reprieve received, and the keys in the take time off the clock for yourself. Bring your inhaler things will be. Com. We, E and always. OH 8:08. Keep me easy.

J. Bradley phoned in a prose poem he wrote in response to Farrah Abraham selling a sex tape to Vivid for almost $1 million dollars.

this voicemail poem from Monica Wendel kicked my heart’s ass.

thank you so much Monica!

Call (910) 703-POEM

Robbie Kramer called in from California! Thanks Robbie!

(910) 703-POEM

eatapeach asked: whats the international number please?

oh! um, have you tried it with the USA country code?

it would be +1(910)703-7636

Z in Michigan reads his poem “Finger Snaps”

you cracked my confidence like finger snaps
like that rock shot to the river when i felt like nothing could change in me
like no solution would ever take

with a bad case of transplant rejection ripping my new heart apart
i sat down at the banks of the river i once tried to shatter

but the market had shifted and a new damn was built
so i sat at the fetid banks of a motionless mirror

and inhaled with the relief of a man whose sense of reality was confirmed, for better or worse.
and i cupped my hands
and i drank.

my lips dripping with stagnation, i kissed all hope goodbye
but i guess all that self-loathing tastes bitter
because hope twisted away with a look in her eye that said.

“this is not the time for us.”

I couldn’t stand the depth of her eyes - or my eyes - for another second
so i grabbed the nearest rock and shot a bundle of all my hatred
and relived that moment between you and me.

that moment that stretched miles, with spreading cracks and the sound of a thousand little finger snaps.

the sun hit the rock for a moment as it spun and i caught all its colors and intricate designs.
it was far too pretty for this task
and far too small.

the tiny splash distorted my features - i was hoping for obliteration -
and I became far uglier
and far more lost.

i realized then that I could never break the mirror, only run from it.

i’m still not sure whether i’d rather be right about myself and the world
or find out i’m living a delusion and everything is beautiful and everything is still.

i put that question away for the moment and walk back down to the banks this time, i’m bringing a cinder block.

Rachel Pattycake Bell reads “HYFR” by Drake.

Here’s what Google Voice thought she said:

Hi Adam, Rachel. Patty hotel. And I’m going to the site. The Paul, H, Why, Yes, our bye trait featuring little wine hey. ON mon. All My ex is we’re gonna Texas like George Strait, or they go to. Georgia State, way tuition channel to someone in need of that live in Atlanta that she only see when she feels obligated, and I did it to me. The first time we dated, that she was not Angelyn we know waited. I took a for sushi. She wanted to suite at the to go with. Holme. Don’t even played it. And we have a talk so much after I blew up to Stoneleigh, Hello Laura, Happy belated. That’s my texture and told her I made an announcement. She text me and told me, she prayed and that’s my text on told her I lover, then right after texture and told around. They did she asks, what the length. It’s getting richer Island working with And I did it tonight for better pictures. I went and the reason I had to steal one hell of a mixture. Even though up girl. I’m still which is damps install cos we’ve is the test. These women involved as I was to drop those, but they’re involved the story to tell we’ve been through it all, damn. And if you’d like confessions gift of talk about my dressing room confusing me with questions like to this. Are you had a right now. Did you ever get nervous. Are you single. I heard you. You curly the true, you can and I’m on the Thank in the evening. If you wish to speak to you And I say, Hell yeah hell yeah. Hell Yeah, tonight. Right down right hell yeah. Hell yeah. Yet, right damn right. I’ll write so much for being optimistic. They say love is in the air, so I had told not to come and see if you’re we’ll keep you at the kids and i Circle, 9 Okay liking perfect for you because Kuwait and I will serve I can check to you for the commercial, but we still net. Later that night after my session. She came over. I would request and she was still going to be for her too. She started comparisons start 100 and then I You know holder and so I did was I was last month Nash’s text me asking for closure, damn. They say that she’s going to catch up to me. I keep tissue paper leave each other whenever. We, at the dinner table She says she hates you love me and she was. We’ll. And the. Sometimes I was just saying, but I was. She was married Yeah, I hope and have a break them, Medicine emailed a test. Bye our conversation. But. And of user like compassion it go out my bed room, computer, new questions, Mike. Do you loved. A. Are you have a right now. You have a good nervous. Are you single. I heard you’ve a cute girl. Is that true. You get them.

Ross Robbins strikes again!

Synaesthesiac

I am become   once the sleep comes on
a sort of color-taster, see, I know no 
limit to the potato chip essence drawn
upon a song tonight at a show, so,
so surprised was I to feel a feeling thus:
               ”Why’s this happening to us?”

What I meant to say was this:
It hit my brain like a toothy kiss
when the man at the mic split
his mouth in a grin and wasted
air on spilling words that hit
my ear with a smelly taste

No, no, I haven’t made it clear:
It was as if all of Frito Lay
spilled its salt across my nose
hissing, “Eat it, you fucking queer.
Try for once, to just straight say
what you mean, rather than compose.”

Sarah Jean Alexander reads “May 5” and “May 17” by Rod McKuen.

ANNIVERSARY GIVEAWAY!
Voicemail Poems is turning 1 years old! 

Dawwww.

To celebrate our 1 YEARS of EXISTENCE and the last weeks of National Poetry Month, we will be making some care packages (including CDs, letters, and random stuff John finds around his living room) to 3 callers who dial in a poem and 3 people who reblog this by April 30th!

(910) 703-POEM

Do it NAOWWW. 

in which we have fun with our spam voicemail.

humans and robots alike can call 910-703-POEM

Alan with a story and short poem from our hometown of Wilmington, North Carolina.

a new voicemail poem from Deborah Ramos in San Diego, California!

anyone can call a poem in!

(910) 703-POEM

………………………………………………………………………………

night bed

come close,
let me splatter you
with my primal perfume.

bodies fuse together,
the taste soaks into
your dripping chocolate skin.

our echoes arouse
the sleeping meadow,
ears perk from their night-beds.

sticky embraces smolder
into dreaming.

Anonymous asked: I left you a message awhile ago. I think you may have ignored it thinking it was spam because I sounded like a telemarketer. The message went something like this: "Hello? Do you ever wonder why you're alive? I think about it all the time..." Did you ever get a message like that?

yes actually - maybe once or twice! we couldn’t tell what was up with them because them seem cut off. please try again!

a new voicemail poem from Dave Moore in Philadelphia, PA!

anyone can call a poem in!

(910) 703-POEM

………………………………………………………………………………

Dave’s haiku:

Dandelion seeds
Already half of them gone
Before the morning

What Google Voice heard:

daddy line seats
already have of them done
before the morning.